the NEW STAR in a Million, in love???--- not!!!
It’s been a week since the last time… hai.. I’ve been so busy, c’mon if anyone’s entitled to skip for a week in posting that would be me… I’m running two blogs, trying to maintain a relationship, feeding the assholes in this house for a week now and I’m still studying. I know this one is suppose to be the easier one to uphold but my time is consumed by the other blog cuz it needs more thinking, creativity and all that shit, plus I have to spend at least 90 minutes for the movie… story of my blog life… waheheh
If you’re waiting for an update with regards to my love life, well, ha… I think I finally realized that I do love him…. I mean I’m trying my best not to cuz I’m scared, I don’t wanna make the same mistake again and be left in torment. If ever I’m going to fully commit myself again, I want to make sure that it’s gonna last, at least long enough for me not to be disgruntled.
You see, I really do love the idea of us not sleeping together not even have a JO session in concert. I feel that it’s better. Yeah, I’ve been trying to tease him a little but he won’t give in, always protective of his not-so-little prince (believe me I know) and won’t let me take his hands where the sun doesn’t shine (UK?). Yesterday when I hugged him while talking him to sleepover. I found myself really wanting him to never leave me, to not runaway from my little arms that encompass his fine stature, though I know it’ll be just for awhile… oh, my god, nahahawa na ako sa kaPOETan ng ibang PLMaers na bloggers, ang sagwa (I’ve been infected by the POETIC shitties of my fellow PLMaer bloggers, totally peculiar). Our monthsarry is coming up, hmm, 5 days from now, I just hope he won’t break-up with me 3 days after that.
Oh, speaking of that, he found the sweet nothings left in my inbox from the one we do not speak of. I found a tiny bit of jealousy in him and he asked me to obliterate them all. Hmm.. honestly I haven’t read that for almost a month already. Since we’ve been together. When the time came for me to expunge those messages, I didn’t even bother to read them no more. It’s been a long time coming, but it came nonetheless…. I’m finally released, thanx to my prince who’s giving more than I could possibly imagine. Despite his restrictions, he always finds a way to contact me and see me, even surprise me. I guess it really won’t be wrong to fall in love with him, wish I could totally ditch this fear from me so I can fully savor each moment….
Enough with my love nuisances, time to share with you another experience of mine. Yesterday, I finally had the balls to undergo rejection once more. I came with Noime at the ABS-CBN compound. I kinda made-up my mind that I’m singing Ribbon in the Sky since some Erik-Santos-looking-gay boi sang Get Here at the other night’s episode of Pinoy Pop Superstar. We found out they’re not suppose to entertain new auditioness no more but according to them, since we took the time to fall in line, they’re giving us the chance. From the regular 30-45 secs audition time we’re only given 15 secs to do our thang…. But before I finally got the chance to flaunt my thang.. . something completely irritating, considerably degrading, undeniably disgusting and absolutely worth ranting about happened….
All the newcomers were on the line when this fat gay man who happens to be nothing but an alalay (maid) asked us to sing one-by-one. He acts as if he’s allowed to employ judgment, when well in fact he’s not. He asked me several times whether I’m really willing to audition and whether I want is so badly. He even made me sing twice and just say I’ll think about it! Who the fuck does he think he is? I felt so offended that I told Noime that we should just leave. I won’t put up with this kind of shit. I even start to swear that I ain’t gonna sing no more. But then after awhile we were all asked to go upstairs and audition.
As I watch those who tried before me, I realize that it is not going to be easy. They’re tougher than ever and those who one would normally think will get in, fails to get through. It was that scary. That’s how high their standards were. Noime sang first before me and she kinda went outta tune. The entire time I was inside I was thinking about what I’m gonna sing. I’ve been chopping of the parts of my supposed piece and at the last minute I decided to sing Harder to Breathe since I heard the judges say they’re looking for a younger sound.
The next thing I know, the spotlights on me. I said my name, held my breath and sang. I know I sounded quite quirky and I swear I thought my end was coming. Then the judge spoke, it was A. Gamboa, I can’t remembr his first name. He said, “Okay na okay yung pagkanta (the voice is very okay) but it’s not just the image we’re looking for”. How did I react? I smiled, laughed and danced my way down to the ground floor. After that fat queer almost categorically say I don’t have the looks nor the voice, that comment alone made me wanna scream in joy! I mean, this guy’s the president of Trumpets and he said that I can really sing!!!! That’s definitely good enough for me. I realized that I’m not really going in these auditions to actually qualify cuz I know deep inside that it’s really not me they’re looking for, but somehow, I find myself trying. And it’s all because I want some assurance. Someone of rank in the music industry to tell me, that yeah, dawg you can carry a tune! And I finally got it.
I remember Cielo saying, that at least you’ve proven that you can sing, never mind the looks we can work on that or something to that effect. Hai… this shit’s been so long already… gotta get outta here… need to buy some rice for us today and guess where the money’s gonna come from? You betcha! From my own pocket!!!
Mental Status: still crazy about the comment
Libido Meter: pretty low…
Emo Level: in love??????
Quote: “Okay na okay yung pagkanta (the voice is very okay) but it’s not just the image we’re looking for”
Voca worda: cachinnate – to laugh laudly or too much
If you’re waiting for an update with regards to my love life, well, ha… I think I finally realized that I do love him…. I mean I’m trying my best not to cuz I’m scared, I don’t wanna make the same mistake again and be left in torment. If ever I’m going to fully commit myself again, I want to make sure that it’s gonna last, at least long enough for me not to be disgruntled.
You see, I really do love the idea of us not sleeping together not even have a JO session in concert. I feel that it’s better. Yeah, I’ve been trying to tease him a little but he won’t give in, always protective of his not-so-little prince (believe me I know) and won’t let me take his hands where the sun doesn’t shine (UK?). Yesterday when I hugged him while talking him to sleepover. I found myself really wanting him to never leave me, to not runaway from my little arms that encompass his fine stature, though I know it’ll be just for awhile… oh, my god, nahahawa na ako sa kaPOETan ng ibang PLMaers na bloggers, ang sagwa (I’ve been infected by the POETIC shitties of my fellow PLMaer bloggers, totally peculiar). Our monthsarry is coming up, hmm, 5 days from now, I just hope he won’t break-up with me 3 days after that.
Oh, speaking of that, he found the sweet nothings left in my inbox from the one we do not speak of. I found a tiny bit of jealousy in him and he asked me to obliterate them all. Hmm.. honestly I haven’t read that for almost a month already. Since we’ve been together. When the time came for me to expunge those messages, I didn’t even bother to read them no more. It’s been a long time coming, but it came nonetheless…. I’m finally released, thanx to my prince who’s giving more than I could possibly imagine. Despite his restrictions, he always finds a way to contact me and see me, even surprise me. I guess it really won’t be wrong to fall in love with him, wish I could totally ditch this fear from me so I can fully savor each moment….
Enough with my love nuisances, time to share with you another experience of mine. Yesterday, I finally had the balls to undergo rejection once more. I came with Noime at the ABS-CBN compound. I kinda made-up my mind that I’m singing Ribbon in the Sky since some Erik-Santos-looking-gay boi sang Get Here at the other night’s episode of Pinoy Pop Superstar. We found out they’re not suppose to entertain new auditioness no more but according to them, since we took the time to fall in line, they’re giving us the chance. From the regular 30-45 secs audition time we’re only given 15 secs to do our thang…. But before I finally got the chance to flaunt my thang.. . something completely irritating, considerably degrading, undeniably disgusting and absolutely worth ranting about happened….
All the newcomers were on the line when this fat gay man who happens to be nothing but an alalay (maid) asked us to sing one-by-one. He acts as if he’s allowed to employ judgment, when well in fact he’s not. He asked me several times whether I’m really willing to audition and whether I want is so badly. He even made me sing twice and just say I’ll think about it! Who the fuck does he think he is? I felt so offended that I told Noime that we should just leave. I won’t put up with this kind of shit. I even start to swear that I ain’t gonna sing no more. But then after awhile we were all asked to go upstairs and audition.
As I watch those who tried before me, I realize that it is not going to be easy. They’re tougher than ever and those who one would normally think will get in, fails to get through. It was that scary. That’s how high their standards were. Noime sang first before me and she kinda went outta tune. The entire time I was inside I was thinking about what I’m gonna sing. I’ve been chopping of the parts of my supposed piece and at the last minute I decided to sing Harder to Breathe since I heard the judges say they’re looking for a younger sound.
The next thing I know, the spotlights on me. I said my name, held my breath and sang. I know I sounded quite quirky and I swear I thought my end was coming. Then the judge spoke, it was A. Gamboa, I can’t remembr his first name. He said, “Okay na okay yung pagkanta (the voice is very okay) but it’s not just the image we’re looking for”. How did I react? I smiled, laughed and danced my way down to the ground floor. After that fat queer almost categorically say I don’t have the looks nor the voice, that comment alone made me wanna scream in joy! I mean, this guy’s the president of Trumpets and he said that I can really sing!!!! That’s definitely good enough for me. I realized that I’m not really going in these auditions to actually qualify cuz I know deep inside that it’s really not me they’re looking for, but somehow, I find myself trying. And it’s all because I want some assurance. Someone of rank in the music industry to tell me, that yeah, dawg you can carry a tune! And I finally got it.
I remember Cielo saying, that at least you’ve proven that you can sing, never mind the looks we can work on that or something to that effect. Hai… this shit’s been so long already… gotta get outta here… need to buy some rice for us today and guess where the money’s gonna come from? You betcha! From my own pocket!!!
Mental Status: still crazy about the comment
Libido Meter: pretty low…
Emo Level: in love??????
Quote: “Okay na okay yung pagkanta (the voice is very okay) but it’s not just the image we’re looking for”
Voca worda: cachinnate – to laugh laudly or too much
posted by riddler at 6:52 AM
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