three months later....

Man, I really can’t understand myself right now. It’s weird. I dunno what it is that I actually want. The Prince called today and he wants us to kinda cool down a bit, I was like okay… as if we are in any way getting in heat waheheh… I was okay with it… I mean I was really fine with it… I’ve been kinda waiting for him to say goodbye.. it’s his feelings that I worry cuz I do know that he loves me so much…. But then in the middle of that 20-minute conversation, somehow I just brokedown. I dunno why. I really don’t. I just can’t let him go… like any part of my life. I just can’t let anything go. I don’t want him to go. I dunno maye because he assures me. When he’s there I know that I’m fine, there’s no need for me to look for anyone and I am sure that he will take care of me. I dunno if I cried because of his situation, being an out of school youth who lives with his aunt and he has to support his sister/brother’s studies. I dunno if it was actually love or pity that I felt. I mean thinking about it now, nothing really happened, I mean we didn’t broke up, it was just him telling me that we may not be able to see each other more since he has to concentrate on looking for a job. I mean we haven’t seen each other for almost two weeks now but it’s fine with me. Now we may not see each other for a month but it’s cool too. He asked me if I could wait for him , I told him I dunno…. I actually thought he was talking bout a long time… so I really said I didn’t know…. I don’t want to get into any relationship yet but if someone comes along what can I do? Then I realized he was talking bout a month, okay… what the fuck is the purpose of all these? What am I crying for? What am I talking about again?Man, my stomach is killing me, that’s when you get when you put dessert first instead of your lunch. Damn it! Curse that chocolate cake. Why does it have to taste that good?????? Hai….

I can’t get over Carrie Underwood… waehehehe…. Man, she’s so gorgeous…. I’d definitely stick with being straight if it means she’ll be my wife wahehehe.. dream on…. Yup.. just did…
Anyways, three months… wow… not exactly a smooth ride but at least I lasted three months with not much effort…. Somebody’s been messaging me… and the stupid me is answering back… hahaha… crazy ha???? Been jumping around… my head aches. Ahhhhhhh….. and my feet too…. Grrrrrr….

Mental Status: the pain is unbearable…
Libido Meter: totally off
Emo Level: pretty high…
Quote: “he is my first mistake”
Voca worda: gentry– people of good birth or social standing