a LOT like LOVE and much, much more....

Love my title… what do you think I’m gonna talk about ha??? Well, first, I got that one from Ashton Kutcher and Amanda Peet’s new movie which I shamefully I cried over for when I saw the trailer maybe about a month ago while my relationship with the prince was on the rocks…. Speaking of him, never heard or read a word from him since the break-up, I am adding to my to-do-list the amputation of his carabao grammatically correct testimonial… better see it now if you wanna read it cuz I’ll be doing it soon…. I hope I don’t get to hear from him anymore, not that I am angry at him or anything, but just because I want him to move on, completely expunge me out of his life, and I don’t want any encumbrance thrown at me if something bad happens to him or if he tries to screw his life over… I ain’t capable of handling my own life surely ain’t gonna see to somebody else’s…

I just don’t learn nor listen, do I? I went at it again… the PPS title that is… but didn't make it thru the first phase… The last time, I was so nervous my voice almost didn’t come out… now I think I was a bit too confident probably even a little cocky…. I don’t know why he didn’t pick me at least for that phase. Maybe I really am just not that good enough, maybe it was a wrong choice of song and style; should have changed it to alt instead of the soul/rnb thing. Maybe I was too short for TV. Maybe I was too ugly for TV. Or maybe, just maybe, God has better plans for me---- oh fuck off!!! Not you, but me, I mean I… waheheh

I got a call from two different call centers this past week, one was Convergys, the other was ICBPI. I was suppose to have my test for the latter last Wednesday, missed it cuz of my pre-advising and I don’t really like the whole thing in the first place since it's an outbound post, riddler ain’t doing no job outside wahehe.. the former though, I’ve been waiting for, for the past two weeks or so, I wanna work there... the salary is pretty hefty and the last time I checked they hire part-time applicants… I have another one invitation here for testing but the location is way too far but we’ll see, if things don’t work out with C then I’m off to Muntinlupa… just the sound of it scares the shit out of me…

Since I touched the topic of pre-advising, I am enrolled already and it wasn’t a walk in the park… it pissed me to my very core… however, compared to others, I was quite lucky… and before I end this, I just wanna say that I am not with anybody at the moment… if I am… it will be all over this blog… I don’t feel the urge of committing soon, or the necessity of it but I have my eyes on somebody, not entirely sure if he (yes, a he!) is up for it as well but I sure hope so… we’ll see… we’ll see…

And last but not the least, I have a new phone, well technically it’s not mine yet since I only borrowed it from my ex-girlfriend but since I am going to be the one who’ll get it fixed, I’ll probably ask for sole permanent custody of this baby… I hope she says yes, I miss her… FYI: she’s the greatest love of my life…. I was in love with that girl for 5 years…. Would love to love her but somehow I think it’s something I just have to let go, which by the way I already did way back, so why am I pondering about it again???

Idol sucks—just wanted to let that one out…..

Mental Status: surprisingly normal
Libido Meter: dozed off
Emo Level: weird...
Quote: “the best thing going for you is your ability to humiliate yourself”
Voca worda: seethe– to be in a state of internal and especially mental agitation etc.

breaking up is not so hard to do...

A new pontiff has been selected and my summer sucks…

Nice segway ei??? Man, okie I know I sound like a broken plaque (sirang plaka… just kiddin’), but I really wanna get a job but I just don’t have the balls to apply alone!!! Grrr!!! And having no cellphone and all, makes it much more difficult for me. I hate this. I really do. I feel so frustrated… my entire days have been a sick routine of waking up, eating, watching and sleeping. I hate it. I’m even starting to get sick of writing my movie reviews and I can’t jumpstart the revision of my blog… I hate it…. I’d better start doing it since I don’t expect any help from Brew soon (I hope he’s happy now that I mentioned his name and I even linked it, but I ain’t gonna visit it, don’t push your luck wahehe)…

We spoke a couple of days ago… I think he’s pissed… I’ve been trying to demoralize him and contrary to popular belief, it worked. Well, at least I though it did. But knowing Brew, he’ll be out in the e-street like a putrid whore who have nothing else to do. However, unlike them, he don’t do it to feed his tummy, but to feed his unexplainable apprehension the only way he knows how.

I still hate him if that’s what you wanna ask. And I ‘m pretty sure I don’t love him anymore. All that I feel for him now is resentment, for being the sick liar that he is who happens to be the first guy who screwed me over (figuratively). Haha, if he’s reading this he’s probably in a moment of incense, trying to think of a way to get even with me. It’s alright Brew, it’s all good, I’m just expressing my rage against this iniquitous world who favors the reprobate more than the naive.

But for old time’s sake (I can’t believe I actually said this..) can you please help me redo my blog???? Please???!!!! (..and this one too…)

Oh… Breaking NEWS!!!!

ANWAR is gone and we BROKE UP!!!! … such news of equal importance…

Okay, I know you’re more interested with the latter but just in case you wanna know something abut the former just give it a click. Moving on, well, yeah, and the funny thing is, I was so depress about the elimination of Anwar, that when prince called (yup, another telephone break-up! god, this is so 90’s, is email still the legit thing?) I just didn’t care I mean, it was a less than a 5-minute conversation with me almost responding with all mmms… and ohhs…. I was so ready for this one I guess, I’ve been waiting for it for a very long time and I finally got it, in fact, it’s a little late but it’s good yah’ll….

His voice was so funny, I can sense the anger in his tone… we broke up cuz he said I’ve been pressuring him to sleep with me…. Ha??!!! Dah???!!!! I’ve been trying to get him into bed since the first time we met. He just kept on resisting just before we start to get into the juicy stuff (sorry, if it’s a little graphic for some). I’d stop there before I share something I’ll regret revealing later on…. He said we’ll just end up bickering over the same issue… Well, I was planning to until I get what I want… I’ve been celibate for the past 4 months for Pete’s sake, since we’ve been together…. The boi (me) desperately needs some action, and that’s what he’s supposed to be (partially) for but he just won’t give in… claiming that we’re just trying to, and I quote, “baboy” ourselves. Haha!!! And why are you here in this relationship again???

I didn’t tell him that, I wanted him to have that moment, to feel like he’s the man, he got the balls to break-up with me, he knows he didn’t really break my heart, but at least he said it first… well, I wanted him to do it. It gives me pleasure to know that they (the people I got involved with) have the bragging rights for this whole breaking up thing… it doesn’t bother me, especially since I’m enormously indecisive, so I let them do it, sometimes I don’t want them to, but sometimes I’m just so glad they finally do, just like today…. And I need not worry about what other people think, that I’m not the one who broke up with someone, cuz I know the truth and I’m happy with my decision… at least this one I’m sure I’d stick with…

So there you go, me back to the arms of myself… hmm, thinking about it, I actually never left my side, get me? Wahehe… I’m not sure what I wanna do next… I’ve said I plan to be alone for awhile the moment we separate but you never know, I might just change my mind again… at the moment I’ll try to enjoy singlehood, as if I have the balls to sleep around…. Damn, I’m so lame….. waheehe.

Mental Status: idol crazy...
Libido Meter: not in the mood...
Emo Level: depress....
Quote: “vengeance is a lazy form of grief”
Voca worda: plaudit– applaud

jobs, pimple, and shit....

I am so glad that the blogger works again….. nothing much going one except I finally tried to look for a job and guess what happened??? Right… nothing. No calls yet from Convergys, I just submitted my name and my contact no since I’m already done with the initial interview and all. The only thing the oh-so-busy girl was write my contact details on a SHIT of paper and go home. Man!!! They don’t know what they’re missing… wahaha… they’ll miss the chance of giving me money wahhhhhhhhh…….

I’m going to a couple of job fairs this coming 15th I just hope I do get something out of it… we’ll see….

Oh, the prince and I finally came back in each other’s arms… literally… after not seeing each other for nearly a month. I missed him. I do hope things work out for him with his job hunting and all. Too bad he couldn’t stay for the night cuz he was supposed to fill in for some work the next day….

I have a pimple that just hurts so bad… it’s located just half-inch under my lower lip… god, it huts… I just finished cleaning my room hai.. it feels good when it’s clean, it’ll be for at least the next 2 days wahehehe….

And oh, something really sad here, Eniarol is leaving school. Well, she’s taking a leave so she’s leaving. That means she won’t be graduating together with us. Damn!!! How I wish I can help her, I mean, do something for her so she won’t have to skip school…. Aside from the fact that she may end up not finishing her studies, it’ll suck not to get a glimpse of her every school day… and now, if I decide to pursue her, it’ll be the worst timing, her life is miserable beyond imagination at the moment, and I am more misery in the making… so I’d better back off…

What a nice way to end this entry… hai….

riddler at the beach…

You read that right, me at the beach… wow, it’s been awhile since the last time my body felt the raging waters of the sea… I actually had no idea that we we’re going to the beach, I thought we’re headed to a resort of some sort that’s why I agreed to come… cuz you know me, never liked the sea…. Unless of course it’s boracay or white beach then I’m all up for it, but if it’s just some phony beach resort I’d rather stay put….

It all happened last Sunday, it will be the first time and the last time I think I’ll go outing this summer. Why? Cuz I do plan to work remember? So if I do wanna work, the rest of the remaining summer days should be spent for some hard earned cash. Anyways, there were less than 10 of us, me, ate lea, kim, mae, pau&hei, gail&mike and chot. We went to Naic and well had not so much fun in the sun. The sweltering heat of the sun was just too much to handle. It was 12 o clock in the afternoon so the sun was pretty much up there. It’s weird of me though, cuz despite the fact that it was freaking hot all over the place when I immersed my body into water, I felt extremely cold, I mean I didn’t last a minute under it, I came up at once and rested for awhile. I did head back to the waters and spent about 20 minutes under the sun so my skin’s pretty rough and I’m darker than ever. Hai… poor me….

Anyways, it was a fun day overall. Kinda let my hair down for awhile. Too bad there’s no summer fling available... wahehehehe… we went home before dawn and I spent the night at Ate Lea’s house together with Chot, and went home the next day… hai…

Anyways, I’ve signed up to jobstreet, I really wanna get a job right now, so maybe at the latest, I’ll go to convergys and other call centers in ortigas or makati next Monday. I really wanna go with somebody accompanying me but I dunno if Gian is available… if there’s nowhere to go, I would have to ask the one we do not speak of the favor of coming with me which I don’t wanna do cuz I don’t wanna owe him any favors…

Mental Status: normal
Libido Meter: cooled dwn
Emo Level: commemorating
Quote: “i need to jumpstart my loins”
Voca worda: deride– to laugh at contempt; to ridicule