getting thinner and thinner....

Wow… I can’t believe I’m still alive

It’s been two weeks since the startling revelation. Two long weeks that I’ve been trying to tighten up my already condensed wallet. I haven’t had the chance to jump up the scale but I am sure I lost a couple of pounds. My ribs are already visible. This is the worst I’ve been. I’m near anorexic. Good thing, for the past two days, I’ve been having full dinners. The free internet connection during the wee hours of the morning makes my condition much worst. I am not having enough sleep and been up all night surfing and downloading. I was never an afternoon person, so it’s been pretty hard for me to get myself to sleep during the afternoons. Even now, I have to force siesta to myself.

Another problem that keeps making me awake, is that convergys haven’t called back yet. They called last Saturday and I missed it. The second afternoon I was not in the house and they call. They didn’t leave any message except for they’ll call again. They never did. I tried to call them back, I was far from successful. I hate it. I can’t go out cuz I keep on thinking that they’ll call but they haven’t and I guess they never will. I just hate them immensely for it. God, I hope those fucked-up people from the HR Department have their worse during the duration of my misery. Haha… that’s bound to be lengthy. Wahehe…

You-don’t-know-who and I ain’t an item and will never be an item, at least for the next few years wahehe…. We just don’t meet at the right time…. Someone feels more at a time and someone feels less… at least that’s how I look at it. But I think it’s for the better, remember when I said I wanna disclose something well, that’s it. I don’t wanna get into a relationship with him after a much “weird” encounter…. I hope we do stay friends… I do enjoy his company a lot…

Right now, I’ve been trying to extend my horizons, a lot of offers in the air but I’m not taking any… I dunno why… maybe I just can’t think straight… haha… that’s funny… that’s the last thing I need to do in evaluating these offers…think straight… wahehe…. I’m not ready to get into a relationship yet, but not enough balls to sleep around either… man, when will I be resolute…

The craziest 5 days of my life… believe me!!!

Sat…

It started off quite well, I was able to get the phone fixed and I’m back to civilization…. And I spent the rest of the afternoon and night with you-don’t-know-who…. all things just keep getting better??? definitely NOT....

Sun….

Now, I was spending the entire day in the house, enjoying some peace and quiet when all of a sudden the phone rang and it was my aunt who lives nearby. She said, that the owner will lock up the house tomorrow because the stupid freakos living here with me ain’t paying the electricity bill which is about P5,000. In case you have no idea, we’re using a jumper for more than a month now. I was furious, I mean I’m paying my bills, and they ain’t gonna lock up my stuff… there’s no way. And this pretending-to-be-helping asshole aunt of mine suggested that they will just use my aunt’s and my allowance to pay for it. I was like what????? As if getting only P2, 500 a month (during summer) isn’t bad enough, they would have to take away my entire allowance for this month to pay for the fucking electricity, which in case you missed, I already paid for!!!!!! God damn it!!! I only had two options:

A: I decline to use my money for it and this house will be locked up with all my stuff including my PC.
B: I’ll agree to use my MAY allowance and end up with only P1,500 to spend for this whole month. What do you think I chose??? Obviously, I chose B and man, I hate it!!!! Why do I have suffer something that is entirely not my fault!!!! I’m starting to hate my fucking life more and more…

Mon…..

I was starting to accept everything that happened and decided to drop by our house. And, up to now there’s still no confirmation as to whether my money meant to buy my cellphone has arrived or is even still in existence. Then, I received an unexpected call from you-know-who… he wanted us to meet and I was skeptical at first, but I wanted to confirm something so I decided to say yes and we met a few hours later. He was so ecstatic to see me, me on the other hand, was trying to figure out as to why I decided to see this chap again. What was I really trying to figure out? Well, simple whether in fact, I am over him, completely. And guess what the answer has been??? YES!!! TOTALLY!!! And I can’t be any happier. I honestly never wanna see him again, but since I asked for his help, I guess seeing each other will be inevitable. But that’s what all it’s gonna be… SEEING.

Moving on, as I thought this day will be not as bad as the past ones, I noticed that the TV’s gone!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I received a call from my mom later that night telling me that my dad didn’t came home… I didn’t pay as much attention as I would if it’s my sister but it bothered me still on my way to dreamland….

Tues...

Because of the fucked up electricity… my PC improperly shutdown causing a sickening problem that I’ll discuss with you later.

I went home to look over my Mom, who I know will be crying all day and night for what could be nothing but a scam my Dad is trying to pull off to shy away the claimers… And as expected, my mom’s been crying a river and you know me, I have a weird way of handling tragedies, I usually laugh them off cause I simply can’t discern as to whether they are reality or merely a reverie. And the fact that my sister pulled off a cinema scene convinces me more that it’s all a trance…

My 9-yr old sister, out of nowhere, just said that she think our Dad came home and my Mom, was like, no he did not!!! But my sister kept on insisting, citing that he even kissed her forehead, and me and my other sister looked at each other, and I went “Tangina mo ka!!!” right in front of my mom. And my mom burst in tears… God damn it!!! It felt really bad having to curse your sister and then see your mom crying over some superstitious belief….
And that doesn’t end there, her stupid horoscope for that day went like this…

“Ibigay mo ang gusto ng iyong mahal! Di ba noon pa man ay nagsakripisyo ka na? Wag kang mag-alala kahit ano pang kahantungan ng inyong relasyon, mahal ka niya... magpakailanan”

("Give the one you love what he wants! Isn’t it that you’ve sacrifice before? Do not worry, whatever happens, he loves you… forever.”)

And my mom went gaga over that… I couldn’t take the blabbing so I went home… to find out that my modem ain’t working, so I called for the help of a friend to fix it. He was able to eliminate the virus and all, and make the modem run, but, somehow, this fucked up hardware just won’t function perfectly. Now it ain’t sending no data, so I ain’t receiving none at all. HA!!!! No allowance, No TV and now no Internet!!!! How do you think I’m gonna survive this kind of environment????? How???!!!

Wed...

I tried to separate myself from all the craziness of the recent days and decided to concentrate on the task ahead: passing the Convergys exam and getting hired. I was suppose to meet you-don’t-know-who, however, he was 50 minutes late, and I already left 5 minutes earlier. So I was feeling that it wasn’t gonna be such a great day, with all my stroke of luck this past few days and now, missing the only good thing going for me for awhile, I must prepare myself for an excruciating task of accepting the fact that my life sucks, and it’s just gonna keep on sucking more and more.

Luckily, I reached the Convergys building right on time, about 5 minutes before the exam. And the stupid me, failed to remember what floor I’m suppose to go to. After two humiliating trials, I finally reached the haven for the insane me. And I don’t know if fate is playing games with me, but I found someone unexpected in that room. I’m not gonna name names, cuz I may end up jeopardizing my studies.

Clue: Big Bad Pig

The test started, and I swear I was a little nervous. Fear of the unknown has always been an accomplice of mine. I finished pretty early with the first test, I remember thinking how stupid I am to not capitalize on my time well enough, but the fact that I passed made it seem okay afterwards. And want another crazy detail? Well, big bad pig, didn’t pass the first stage!!!! He’s out, like any moron who joins Game Ka na Ba thinking that Kris will give them clues by blinking. I was shocked, when the pig was bidding farewell, I didn’t bother to look, I pretended to be doing the second test and laugh loudly inside, or maybe not, I don’t remember, but I do feel like laughing right now. Waheheehe…

The second test, was a lot more enjoyable. I finished not as early though. I was still nervous for the outcome, especially since a girl in my line was sent packing. From 15 we’re down to 11, now what??? Okay, I passed, and I think there’s only 8 or 7 of us left. This last test, compared to the other exams was far easier except the aptitude test. You know me, I don’t meddle with computer stuff, so basically I kinda relied on my intuition and power of guessing.

The spelling test was such a treat, you think you know how to spell those simple words but wait when you take that exam. Okay, so I was still skeptical about the upshot, but when ms. pretty face and lovely voice (something that rarely comes in one package) told me to fill out the employment form, I was like right on cutey. I was so ashamed though, cuz it took me like 30 minutes or more to fill out a stupid form. Why? Cuz I was looking for references, I didn’t think I needed any at that point. Stupid me…

So okay, that wasn’t so bad, was it? Now I’m back to reality. I have to go home and face a family problem that makes me sick to my stomach. So I went to our house, and still no news about my dad’s whereabouts. I decided to just went here and received a call that seemingly took all my worries away. No, it’s not about my dad but it’s just the voice of that one person that makes everything seem of lesser complications than they are actually are. He just makes me forget about my sick problems and enjoy whatever it is he has to offer…. And having him in my room makes it much, much special.

Am I in love again? You bet I am!!! Which makes me worry about something that is probably best not to disclose here. Give this one to me, it still is such a vulnerable matter but I promise as soon as everything is smooth sailing, I’ll be more than glad to reveal to the 4 of you who read this. Wahehehe…

And oh, the day ended with a bang (decipher yourself), and the news that my dad’s home.